These are Jesse’s answers to some of the questions we get when we are asked why we choose to be car free and how we do it with a kid.

1.  Why are you car free parents?

Being car free is such a fundamental part of my identity that it is unimaginable to consider raising a child with a car.  Living car free represents a measure of symbolic freedom from some of the social structures I find most oppressive: big corporations, consumerism, and fossil fuel consumption. Spiritually, being car free means independence and self-reliance. There is a certain lightness not having to worry about car payments, insurance, gasoline, engine problems, parking, or running someone over by accident.  Politically and ecologically, I don’t want to participate in the daily destruction of the earth any more than I have to.  Living without a car is living my values — not just talking about how we can live simply, but actually living more simply.

Choosing to be car free in a car-dominated world automatically makes life more complex in certain ways, but it is a good kind of complexity that mostly requires more creativity and leads to adventures and excitement you wouldn’t have if you went with the flow and drove everywhere.  Simplicity and efficiency are overrated — boring.  The efficiency and speed of cars is fake — it depends on hiding the real costs and shifting them to other people, the future, and the environment.

I’ve always loved biking and walking — why should I only walk and bike as a hobby rather than to actually get me and my daughter somewhere?  Its all about how we want to spend our time:  in traffic in a car and working to pay for the car, or on foot, on a bike, or on transit.  Car-depending people isolate themselves from others and their surroundings, whereas on public transit I’m in contact with people around me and walking or biking, I get to appreciate the weather and the city as I move through it.

I’ve known I wanted to be a car free parent since way before my partner and I thought about having kids. I want to be a parent in part so I can share the things I love the most about this world with my daughter.  What my daughter needs from me most is for me to stick to my values and live life on my own terms so she can learn that we all get to decide what is really important. Having a kid is all about making compromises.  What is really key is how you make those choices.

2.  What does it mean to be car free as a parent?

Being a car free parent means a few related things to us.  It means not traveling by car on our own or with our kid whenever possible.  It means that we don’t own our own car.  It does not mean we never set foot in a car.  If we need to go somewhere or do something that is impossible without a car, we rent or borrow a car.  However we’ve found that it is only necessary to travel by car on rare occasions.  I think its key to avoid owning a car.  Once you own a car, it is too easy to hop in.  If the default is moving without a car and the exception is using a car, then you realize how infrequently a car is actually necessary.

3.  Why make a Car Free Parenting website?

I wanted to share cool adventures I’ve had.  I think there are more and more car free parents all the time so its good to break down isolation and share what we’ve learned.  I would love to inspire others to use cars less.  I want to break down the myth that you have to have a car to raise kids.  It isn’t true. A lot of folks I’ve known who lived car free before they had kids got a car once they had kids because there is an enormous amount of pressure to organize parenthood around the car.  When you leave the hospital, the only thing they require you to have is a car seat. That says a lot.  We carried our daughter out of the hospital in her required car seat . . . and then we walked home!

4.   How do you go car free?

It is easier to be a car free parent if you were already living that way before you became a parent.  It can take years to create a life that works well without a car.  Doing so requires living intentionally and learning special skills.  Being a parent is already so overwhelming that making more changes and learning more new skills is asking a lot of parents.

Living car free works best if you set up your life so the places you have to go are either close enough to walk or bike or are easily accessible by public transit.  This doesn’t happen by accident.  It means being very selective about where you live and work and the distance from work to home.  You don’t consider some jobs because they’re too far away.  You don’t pick activities or friends irrespective of location.  Particular cities and towns will work better than others.  Living in the city center will work better than in the suburban fringes.  It is easier to live in a flat part of town than in a hilly part.

You have to figure out tricks to move supplies without a car and most of these tricks are relevant and useful as a parent.  I have a bike trailer and bike bags on my bike, plus I’ve figured out what types of things its best to get delivered (for instance:  lumber).  With my daughter, I was already used to biking with a trailer.  I can move a lot of groceries in her stroller or her bike cart.

People who use cars frequently become psychologically dependent on their car use and may find it hard to imagine life without a car.  In particular, they set up their lives without regard to where everything is, so getting by without their car naturally seems impossible.  Their house is so far from stores that they “have to” drive.  They work two cities away so they are “forced to” drive.  They pick a yoga studio 4 miles from home rather than the one down the street.  Folks caught in “car-think” might think a life organized around keeping distances short is restrictive or boring, but I never feel like that.  While none of us can completely control where we live or work — cost and available jobs limit our choices — there are often a lot of options.  You have to decide what you really prioritize.